The Official non-offensive but you know what I mean' swear words thread

[LARF]

With the new code of conduct in place and the ban on all obscene language such as f***, C*** and B** it's made me think that in Dredd's world, Download, Dante etc. 2000AD replaces the usual suspects with flowery and non offensive interpretations: Grud, Funt, Fuoco, Crapola and er... Bum.

Therefore I thought I would start this thread as the official 'Message board' create your own 'non-offensive but you know what I mean' swear words thread.

My contributions are as follows:

Crunth face

sith

Danglers

Wud Wyom* (*what you do with your old man)

xollob

eras

etc. etc.

[Misanthrope]

Giles Brandeth.

[Mr C]

Michael Portilo.

[Dudley]

Tories

[Richmond Clements]

Emmerdale.

[James]

Arsebiscuits.

Gary. (As in Glit, rhyming slang)

[Richmond Clements]

There was a spectacular swear created in the house last night- but it is rather offensive, so I'm afraid it cannot be repeated on this thread.

[Funt Solo]

Mighty organ.

[Satanist]

Complete and utter Gareth Hunt!

[Funt Solo]

When I lived on a farm, the cockerel got hit on the head by a rogue combine harvester, and thereafter would continually crow from sunset to sunrise.  It was an insufferable cock.

[judge dreddd]

drokk

[Buttonman]

There was a funny bit about censorship on KYTV when Sir Kenneth Yellowhammer said *beep* was banned in the context of 'Get that *beep* out of my face' but perfectly acceptable in 'My favourite film is Dick Tracey'.

The review site already has a swaer filter that changed our sweary venacular to drokk, stomm etc. Swearing is also a no-no on the poker sites but you still get inventive types saying '@sshole' when I fill my inside straight draw.

[Tweak72]

Belgium man, Belgium!

[Peter Wolf]

     Tollox          Pherque        ewe


          Mur    theure        Pheur      quere

             Someones going to              Pay  !

         Fill in the blanks at home yourself.

[judge dreddd]

basket

they used to say basket on saturday night live instead of b***ard