Attempts at the sample scripts

[Fat Bobby]

Hello there, everyone:)

I've decided to post my recent attempt at a Judge Dredd sample script ('Gun Runner'). It is my first ever attempt at a Dredd script.

Just wanted to show it around and get as many different POVs/crits on it as I can:














I look forward to any feedback:)

[Bubba Zebill]

Well I like it. It's got a punchy film-like (or storyboard-like) way about it. I also understand what's going on without any dialogue, so that's good too...I like the choices you've made. I don't recall this sample script, is it a new addition or something you chose from progs passim?

[GoldJack]

I agree with Bubba very original style would love to see it coloured 

[Jon]

The flow and composition is good. I can't really see that as the final visual quality though, I feel it still needs some work. From experience the feedback tends to be, "work on anatomy and inking".

[Steven Denton]

There is a lot to like here; your storytelling is very good and in general your figure work and perspective is quite strong. There is a nice solidity to some of your shapes. This biggest problem is the inking. At times it can appear scrappy, on the few occasions you have used a grey tone it has in my opinion added nothing to the drawing except a slight visual confusion.
If I was to suggest something for you to work on it would be a verity of different marks and shapes to construct your images out of. A couple of examples of where an extended mark pallet would have come in handy are things like frame 1 of page 2, the blotches don't really read to me as liquid and it took me a while to work out that it was meant to be blood. They are also busy and distracting when the rest of the artwork is so clean. It took me a few moments to work out which blotches was blood and which were the shapes of the dead guys face. Another place it would help is in the creation of texture. At the moment you use very similar marks to create the very smooth material of the Judges helmet and the much rougher marital of the clothing and the gun furniture. By varying the type of marks you use you can create different texture and a more variation of light diffusion.
I like a lot of what you have done with this, your designs poses and storytelling is all good it just needs polishing in my opinion.

[Fat Bobby]

Hey guys:)

Thanks for all the feedback, I appreciate it, it's given me a lot to think about for my next project.

Oh and the script is called 'Gun Runner', I found it here:

http://www.2000ad.org/?zone=droid&page=scripts&choice=gunrunner

Thanks again everyone:)

[Dandontdare]

I particularly like the composition and arrangement of the panels on page 2, but yes, the inking is a little heavy handed in places.

still a million times better than anything i could do!

[IanSchofield]

Have many people tried the Holed Up script ?, It would seem the most popular script is the Cycle of Violence.

[IanSchofield]

First crack at the Holed Up sample script, obviously still working on this

[michael kennedy]

promising stuff Ian.

[Jake Lynch]

Some great stuff on here (damn I hate the competition!)

[SuperSurfer]

Plenty to like there, Fat Bobby. I like the energy, looseness and freshness though I think you need to tighten up the inking. Or actually tighten the pencils and inking. I am keen on loose as well as tight styles but I think some of this looks rather rushed and sparse in places. I think you also need to look at depth and consider differentiating between foreground, midground and background, perhaps through thickness of inking line or shading. And yes, one can never have enough practise on anatomy.

IanSchofield – just goes to show how much hard graft goes into comic art. That stage is always a battle for me. I always enjoy seeing people's work in progress. Look forward to seeing next stages.

JTPegg – superb. 'Nuff said.

[IanSchofield]

Thanks for your comments guys, here is a little more of my attempt at Holed Up, will post the final when its done You can catch more process on my Instagram here http://instagram.com/p/bjExACTeq6/

[Proudhuff]

Some great stuff on here (damn I hate the competition!)

That IMHO is prog worthy, the panels have depth and a good use of contrast, they scan well and flow into each other and have strong movement. There is a great use of texture without it arresting the eye and Dredd has weight and gravitas, while the other figures have character and again movement. The choice of camera angles work well too flowing effortlessly...more please!

[Simon Beigh]

JTPegg - that is some fine work there, my friend. I'm not an artist, but I know what I like and I like that. I'm a sucker for pure black & white "old school" pen work. I wouldn't greyscale or colour that in anyway. I particularly like the panel with Dredd on the lawmaster.

I don't know what script you have used here, but have you considered the needs of the letterer? There doesn't look like there is too much room in that Dredd panel, which is fine if he only says two words (or nothing).

No higher praise than to say I'd buy that page for my collection...