Horrible jokes

[Tweak72]

Ah yeah!

[Bico]

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream?

A dead baby.

[Mr C]

Why did Michael Jackson drop back from the lead in te London Marathon?

Because he always likes to come in a little behind.

[Bico]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag?

One's white, made of plastic and harmful to children, the other is a carrier bag.

[Richmond Clements]

Tito Jackson suggested one night that they watch a video, cause they were all bored at the Jackson home.
Michael said,'Can we get Aladdin?'
Tito:'For fuck sake Michael, don't you think you're in enough trouble?'

[malkymac]

About twenty years ago I saw an Australian film called the 'Odd Angry Shot' about ozzie SAS in Vietnam where one of the squadies cracked the joke about 'What's got four legs and flies?'. The answer was 'two lesbians'. My mates all thought that was hysterical but I have never yet got it. If any one could explain it, it would clear up a personal 20 year mystery.

[Dudley]

Lesbians, in the popular (ie homophobic) imagination, smell of fish.  Hence:

"Evening ladies", said the blind man walking past the fishmongers.

[johnnystress]

I think the aussie lesbian joke is referring to women who wear "strides".  
Y'see dresses don't have flies(zippers on the crotch)- and obviously women who wear trousers are as bent as a dogs hind leg

on a less homophobic note..


has the stick joke been done yet?

whats brown and sticky?

a stick

[Richmond Clements]

Yes Johnny it has, and by a fellow Dubliner too.

[johnnystress]

It's the official joke of the city of Dublin, it was granted the keys to the city in '88


What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back?

A stick

[Mikey]

Whats brown and wrinkly and looks out the window?

A nosey old shite.

M.

[Bhuna]

Michael Jackson's new single....

'I'm forever blowing Bubbles' & 'Don't let your son go down on me' or should that be 'Do'

[Dudley]

Why is Michael Jackson like McDonalds?

They both like putting forty-year-old meat between 10-year-old buns.

[Trout]

...and Michael Jackson is like a bottle of rum because they both come in tots.

Sorry.

Just don't get me started on sexist jokes.

Then you'll know I'm really evil...

- Trout

[Carlsborg Expert.]

A lady who was so poor she had to send her little girl out to play without nickers on, had her return waving a fiver around, saying,
" Mom some man gave me a fiver in pity. he said i should go and buy some underwear."

Thinking she would get double this ammount,she went out in a flared dress and skipped up and down the promenade nickerless,for all to see.
Lo and behold a man approached her waving a note.

He said," Ooh I do feel sorry for you poor types. Heres a tenner for a new haircut."














2