Please queue here to be assigned your classic Thrill.

karne · 21 April, 2003, 02:27:39 AM

Wow! Praise from the man himself. I am genuinely blushing from that. Thanks Mr D. :)

McNulty · 21 April, 2003, 03:42:47 AM

Durham Red - a story that may or may not be true...

Red looked over the world she had inherited. It was a lush and verdant place, an Eden in the Universe. But she was alone. Alone with the realisation that she had released the creature held there, and freed it so it could exact a terrible revenge on the norms.
Normal humanity had only a generation to live now, she knew it, more than anything. And she knew that the brave new order she had dreamed of was never going to come to pass. The guilt she felt had grown as the years had passed, and now, as she neared the end of her life's journey, she could bear it no longer.
She came to the cliffs with only one thought in her mind. A kind of peace came over her as she stood on the edge, one she had not felt in all her life. She looked down at the rolling ocean so far below her and actually smiled. It was such an alien expression, she almost had forgotten how to do it.
"Yes," she thought to herself, "After all these centuries I will finally see peace. All those who died in my name will rest easier tonight."
She edged closer to her final destiny, and closed her eyes. Now was her time...

"Ah wouldnae dae that if I were you hen," came a voice, "I didnae come a' this way jist tae see ye fa' tae yer doom!"

Red opened her eyes to see a mutant she had not seen for more centuries than she cared to recall. His gruff, but honest appearence denoted a fighter, a bruiser who had to live by his wits, as well as his fists. Her eyes were drawn to the crown of lumps on top of his head. Speaking aloud for the first time in years, she addressed him.

"Mc..Nulty. What are you doing here?"

The mutant Scotsman smiled.
"Whit d'ye think Ah'm daeing here, ah'm here tae tak ye hame."

Red reeled at this news. She had just made peace with herself and her deeds, and now this man, a figure from her past, suddenly appears offering her salvation?

"How did you get here?," she asked, "How could you know where to come."

Middenface McNulty held up a time-jump device.

"It wisnae easy Hen," he explained, "Ah've bin up and doon eternity looking fir ye. But noo ah'm here and ready tae tak ye back."

"I am not going anywhere," she told him sternly. "I have made a decision, and you being here isn't going to change it. I don't deserve to live anymore. I have done the most unimaginable crimes, and I am going to pay for them."

The mutant bounty hunter shook his head.
"No Hen, ye dinnae get aff sae easily. We need ye back in ma time, and ah'm nae leaving withoot ye. Ye feel great guilt fer whit ye've deen, ah can see that, but ah'm offering ye a chance tae mak amends."

Red considered his words, but the weight of her guilt was so great, she felt she couldn't bear it even one more day.

"No, McNulty. I am not going with you!" she shouted, and hurled herself off the cliff. She plummeted down, the wind whistling past her ears as she fell ever closer to her death.

"Ye didnae think ye could get awa that easy, did ye Hen?" came McNulty's voice. Red opened her eyes and saw him falling down beside her, with a smile on his face. She was taken aback. She didn't want his death on her head as well. In desperation, she cried out to him.

"Alright, alright, you win! I'll come with you!"

"Grand!" he said and grabbed her. Taking out another device, he activated it. The anti-grav chute slowed their descent to a crawl and they hit the waves with a gentle splash. They made their way to the shore and Red looked at the sodden mutant in front of her.

"That was a dirty trick, McNulty," she accused.

"Maybe," he replied, his smile fading, "But we need ye Hen and ah'm tae get ye back. Coming?"

Red looked out once more to the wide rolling ocean of the Earth. It would be good to leave these memories behind.

"Alright then, let's go," she said quietly.

Middenface took out his time jump device and stood next to the beautiful mutant. There was a flash, and then they both were gone...

karne · 21 April, 2003, 04:10:17 AM

In the words (or word) of Keanu Reeves, "Whoa!" Nice work Mr McNulty. Are they going to rescue Mr Johnny's? Are they? are they? Tell me, go on tell me, tell me. Go on, pleaaaasssse!

Dounreay · 21 April, 2003, 05:10:05 AM

Chopper's Back - Episode 1 Synopsis

Page 1 - A series of images shows a bearded Chopper in the deep radback of OZ. He has turned his back on surfing and spends his time devoted to painting, native music and caring for injured animals.

Page 2/3- Cut to MC1. The city computer MAC has been replaced by KEN, a computer of vastly greater power. KEN is able to track and identify all illegal air traffic. The development of the Ion Repulsion Null Gravity sky board (far slower but much safer)and its adoption by a number of celebrities coupled with KENs scrutiny has ended sky surfing in MC1.

Despite the IRNG board ruling the skies, the youth of MC1 have found a way! By reversing the null gravity field , the board will stick to anything and anything on the board will stick to it. However the IRNG board does not have enough power to propel itself now. In a revolutionary break through, MC1 youth fit wheels to their boards and the 'roller board' is born.

Extreme roller boarders soon take to boarding down the side of buildings - known as Block boarding. The favourite spots are Stirling Moss Block and California Highway Patrol Memorial Plaza- commonly known as Stirling boarding and Chip boarding. The most notorious boarder is the legendary Dave Dove.

Page 4 - On a visit to MC1 to exhibit his work Chopper is taunted mercilessly by Dave Dove as a has been who could never handle a roller board.
Dawn breaks on the final day of his visit. The sun rises over the statue of Judgement and slowly a shape begins to appear on the statues badge. Someone down below says "Can you tell what is is yet?" before it is revealled as a huge smiley face.

Page 5 - Chopper stands atop the statue, ready to roller board down it. A feat as yet never done. Dave Dove stares up in awe. Dredd makes him and runs towards him. Dave Dove catches sight of Dredd, jumps backwards on to his board which shoots out from under him and speeds towards Dredd, catching him in the balls.

End on cliffhanger - "Drokk it" sqeaks Dredd as Chopper launches himself down the statue...

DavidXBrunt · 21 April, 2003, 05:15:50 AM

Genius! Those last two were great.

Trough - Middenface McNulty.

karne · 21 April, 2003, 05:25:35 AM

"Drokk it" sqeaks Dredd"

Hoo, hoo! I'll never be able to read Dredd with a straight face again. Try imagining him as I did, sounding like one of the mice in "Babe".

Bolt-01 · 21 April, 2003, 04:14:35 PM

Excellent work fellas, both the Durham one and the chopper tale actually deserves to see print.

Rotts

Trout · 21 April, 2003, 04:43:37 PM

Bradley? F*cking Bradley?

Okay.

A 30-something chartered accountant named Bradley, and his wife Arabella, meet up with their friend Milton in the pub.

They talk about how crazy they used to be, then go back to Milton's to watch Blakes 7 videos and listen to music in a sort of puzzled horror at how they could have liked such shite.

Maybe they phone for a Chinese takeaway.

But it doesn't matter, because throughout the entire strip, no-one can work out what's going on because the art's so messy, and covered with notes from the artist to himself.

Then Britney Spears turns up and they take the piss out of her.

The end.

- Trout

The Monarch · 21 April, 2003, 04:58:03 PM

coming soon armitage: robot souls

where armitage the stuffy inspector morse of brit cit meets armitage 3 a robotic girl with a taste of clothing that makes treasure steel blush more coming soon...

Tu-plang · 21 April, 2003, 05:15:26 PM

And me too! I'm here!

Devons Daddy · 21 April, 2003, 05:38:45 PM

Durham Red - a story that may or may not be true...

deserves to see print.
this has the ability to brign both her and johhny back and then wash away all the ups and downs we have enjoyed/endured in recent years.

well written.really good.
both big finish and tooth should give it consideration.

Something Fishy · 21 April, 2003, 05:54:44 PM

oi , don't tell everyone the secret of the non existant surf.

Something Fishy · 21 April, 2003, 06:05:46 PM

Can i just say what an honour it will be to pen the revival of the Ace Trucking company.

I would like to request the service of Henry Flint to draw this for me.

Of course me being the mad little western sea dweller that i am i shall change its name to:

brytyn trok formya

and set the whole thing underwater.

Don't worry.. it'll all work well!!

Devons Daddy · 21 April, 2003, 06:33:07 PM

sorry
thankyou for switching the lights off there.